Libertine: On the Prowl

Vidi, vici, veni -- I saw, I conquered, I came. _______________________________________________________________

Vacations, Staycations, and Holidays

02:13, 2009-Jan-2 .. Posted in language .. 2 comments .. Link

"Occurrences of this word [staycation] are going up with gas prices.'Vacation' does not mean 'travel,' nor does travel always involve vacation. Let's send this word on a slow boat to nowhere."
--Dan Muldoon

"Staycation" was on Lake Superior State University's recently announced list of banned words for 2009. The above comment is from a man who submitted this word for inclusion into the list.

In yesterday's blog post, I commented that the word "vacation" comes from the root word, "vacate", which means to leave one's current location, so, yeah, "vacation" does imply travel. "Vacation", loosely defined, is a time when you're vacating the places you usually inhabit.

The British -- and other Commonwealth nations, I believe -- use the word "holiday" in the same way Americans use the word "vacation". The word "holiday", however, literally means "holy day", and while people take time off for actual holidays such as Christmas and Easter, not all "holidays" are taken on holidays, i.e. "holy days". Perhaps this distinction is the reason why Americans started using the word "vacation" in place of "holiday". Americans might say they are "going on vacation during the holidays", but they'd never say they're "going on holiday during the summer".

Though the use of the word "vacation" has taken on broader meanings over the years, I grew up during a time when the phrase, "going on vacation" existed alongside "summer vacation". The first phrase had the emphasis on the word "going", which meant traveling somewhere far enough away where you'd not be sleeping at home during the time of vacation. "Summer vacation", on the other hand, just meant time off and away from school; it did not necessarily imply traveling away from home as well, though such trips were quite common, as many parents scheduled time off from work to coincide with their childrens' time off from school in order to take family vacations involving travel. But now with higher gas prices combined with shorter summer school breaks, employers offering fewer days of paid vacation, and stagnating wages, family vacations away from home are becoming less common.

Hence, the neologism, "staycation", where individuals, couples, and families visit things within a day's drive of their homes in order to save on gas and lodgings or simply veg out at home during their time off from work and school. I agree that the term has great potential for being annoying, but "staycation" is a more concise way of saying, "we'renotgoingtogoawayonourtimeofffromwork
andschoolbecausegascoststoomuchandbesidesI
onlyhavefourdaysofffromworkthisyear".

So, I'd not have included "staycation" on the 2009 list, though it does admittedly have great annoyance potential if overused.

Your thoughts?

Banned Words For 2009

03:07, 2009-Jan-1 .. Posted in language .. 2 comments .. Link

Michigan's Lake Superior State University has released its annual "List of Words and Phrases Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness."

GREEN –

As in "environmentally friendly". This includes "Green" and all of its variations, such as 'going green,' 'building green,' 'greening,' 'green technology,' 'green solutions' and more, drew the most attention from those who sent in nominations this year.

"This spawned 'green solutions,' 'green technology,' and the horrible use of the word as a verb, as in, 'We really need to think about greening our office.'" Mike McDermott of Philadelphia said.

CARBON FOOTPRINT or CARBON OFFSETTING –

"It is now considered fashionable for everyone, tree hugger or lumberjack alike, to pay money to questionable companies to 'offset' their own 'carbon footprint.' What a scam! Get rid of it immediately!" Ginger Hunt, London, England said.

Mike of Chicago says that when he hears the phrase 'carbon footprint,' "I envision microscopic impressions on the surface of the earth where an atom of carbon forgot to wear its shoes."

Christy Loop of Woodbridge, Va., says that 'leaving a carbon footprint' has become the new 'politically incorrect.' "How can we not, in one way or another, affect our natural environment?"

MAVERICK –

"The constant repetition of this word for months before the US election diluted whatever meaning it previously had. Even the comic offshoot 'mavericky' was terribly overused.

"You know it's time to banish this word when even the Maverick family, who descended from the rancher who inspired the term, says it's being mis-used." Scott Urbanowski, Kentwood, Mich.
When I heard this term all through the election, my first thought was of the junky car model made by Ford during the 70s.

FIRST DUDE –

"Skateboard English is not an appropriate way to refer to the spouse of a high-ranking public official." Paul Ruschmann, Canton, Mich. said.

Yeah, First Redneck would have been more appropriate in this instance.

BAILOUT –

"Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks' balance sheets is not a bailout. When your cousin calls you from jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout." Ben Green, State College, PA said.

I tend to visualize someone in a leaky rowboat with a bucket trying to get rid of the water, myself when I hear this one

WALL STREET/MAIN STREET --

"The recent and continuing financial failings are not limited to 'Wall Street,' nor should one paint business, consumers, and small investors as ' Main Street .' Topeka (where I work), and Lawrence (where I live), Kansas, have no named ' Main Street .' How tiresome." Kent McAnally, Topeka, KS. said.

"I am so tired of hearing about everything affecting ' Main Street .' I know that with the 'Wall Street' collapse, the comparison is convenient, but really, let's find another way to talk about everyman or the middle class, or even, heaven forbid, 'Joe the Plumber.'" Stacey, Knoxville, Tenn.

It didn't take long for this one to become trite.

Internet and texting blues

MONKEY –

"Especially on the Internet, many people seem to think they can make any boring name sound more attractive just by adding the word 'monkey' to it. Do a search to find the latest. It is no longer funny." Rogier Landman, Somerville, Mass.

I've not run across this one until reading this list.

<3 –

Supposed to resemble a heart, or stand for the word 'love.' Used when sending those important text messages to loved ones. "Just say the word instead of making me turn my head sideways and wondering what 'less than three' means." Andrea Estrada, Chicago.

I hate this one with a passion. I've seen it on people's blogs and it always perplexed me. I'd like "WHAT is less than three?" The heart thing never occurred to me.

Overuse in news and entertainment

ICON or ICONIC –

Overused, especially among entertainers and in entertainment news." "Everyone and everything cannot be 'iconic.' Can't we switch to 'legendary' or 'famous for'? In our entertainment-driven culture, it seems everyone in show business is 'iconic' for some reason or another. "John Flood, Bray, Wicklow, Ireland said.

"It's becoming the new 'awesome' - overused to the point where everything from a fast-food restaurant chain to celebrities is 'iconic.'" Jodi Gill, New Berlin, WI said.

GAME CHANGER –

"It's game OVER for this cliché, which gets overused in the news media, political arenas and in business." Cynthia, Mt. Pleasant, MI said.

Yeah, we need a channel changer for game changer.

STAYCATION –

"Occurrences of this word are going up with gas prices.'Vacation' does not mean 'travel,' nor does travel always involve vacation. Let's send this word on a slow boat to nowhere." Dan Muldoon, Omaha, NE said.

Well, to be technical, the word "vacation" comes from the root word, "vacate", which means to leave one's current location, so, yeah, "vacation" does imply travel. And I've never come across the word "staycation" except in language rant articles.

DESPERATE SEARCH –

"Every time the news can't find something intelligent to report, they start on a 'desperate search' for someone, somewhere." Rick A. Hyatt, Saratoga, WY said.

NOT SO MUCH –

"I wish that the phrase was used not so much," says Tom Benson of Milwaukee, who notes that it is used widely in news media, especially in sports, i.e. 'The Gophers have a shot at the playoffs; the Chipmunks, not so much.'

"A favorite of snarky critics and bloggers." Jeff Baenen of Minneapolis said.

WINNER OF FIVE NOMINATIONS –

"It hasn't won an Academy Award yet. It has only been NOMINATED!" John Bohenek, Abilene, Tex.

Yeah, There's no "winning" involved if someone is but one of a group of nominees for an award. The winner is the winner, not the nominees.

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN –

Nominated by Kathleen Brosemer of Sault Ste. Marie, Ont., for "general overuse and meaninglessness. When is it not 'that time of year again?' From Valentine's sales to year-end charity letters, invitations to summer picnics and Christmas parties, it's 'that time' of year again. Just get to the point of the solicitation, invitation, and newsletter and cut out six useless and annoying words."

I have two nominations to this year's list:

BUBBLE

Used to indicate a limited worldview or perception. As in, "She must be living in a bubble", to mean "She's living in her own little world."

I recently heard a talk radio host opine that since the election that Barack Obama has been "trapped in a media bubble".

Urgh. Someone needs to pop this particular use of bubble.

PROFFER

This one is on my list of "weasel words; that is, a pretentious word in which a simpler, more direct synonym exists.

I see "proffer" in novels quite often, though I've never in my entire life heard someone used it in conversation. I'm not even sure how to pronounce it. My mind reads "pro offer", as opposed to "amateur offer", but I'm suspecting it's merely said like its more common synonym "offer" with the "pr" sound in front of it.

So, why not simply say "offer" instead? It's a perfectly good word, along with the verb "hand", another synonym that "proffer" often is used for.

---

To see their lists from previous years:

http://www.lssu.edu/banished/archive...e/2002.php

Stirring Emotions vs. Rational Debate

01:23, 2008-Dec-10 .. Posted in language .. 0 comments .. Link

While browsing at Alternet looking for blogging fodder this morning, I glanced at the headline of one article, Gun Crazy: Firearms Proponents Want a World Where College Kids Carry Concealed Weapons by Liliana Segura.

Normally, I wouldn't have read an article on this topic, but the use of the phrase "college kids" irritated me enough to leave a comment. I did not comment on the content of the article, which I only briefly skimmed, because gun control, like abortion, tends to be a polarizing topic with both sides often arguing from emotion and refusing to even listen to what the other side is saying. Nor will I comment on the topic itself in this blog entry, as it doesn't relate to the point I'm making here.

My comment follows below:

College "Kids"?

The last time I checked, colleges and universities are attended by adults age 18 and over, not by children, i.e. "kids".

I'm guessing the use of the word "kids" in this article was meant to influence the emotions, rather than to set a tone of rational debate about the topic.

The author of this article has clearly indicated her bias in the title, simply by using the word "kids" instead of "students". It was meant to stir the emotions, rather than generate reasoned debate, which I find irresponsible. When discussing highly controversial topics that have a tendency to go downhill quickly into ad hominem territory, it's especially important to choose one's words carefully.

Thoughts?

Kids and College Students

01:06, 2008-Aug-9 .. Posted in language .. 6 comments .. Link

I frequently hear a radio commercial for the United Negro College Fund. In this commercial, a college student describes her busy course schedule that goes from early morning well into the evening. At the end, she says "thank you", as she is presumably a recipient of funds from this organization. Then an announcer comes on and says, "If a kid is willing to do what it takes to get through college...".

I may be nitpicking, but I don't think of someone who is of legal age engaged in responsible activity as a "kid". If I'd been the writer of this ad, I'd have replaced "kid" with "student".

This is a kid

This is a college student.

See the difference?

A Collection of Neologisms

12:59, 2008-Apr-18 .. Posted in language .. 3 comments .. Link

Not too long ago, I found an interesting site, Word Spy, that is a collection of neologisms coined in the last 20 years or so. Following is a list of some of these words, complete with definitions.

corporate anorexia
n. A business disorder, marked by an extreme fear of becoming inefficient that leads to excessive cost-cutting to the point of serious loss of business and sometimes bankruptcy.

bozo explosion
n. The large number of inept employees that a company ends up with when it hires an incompetent executive, who in turn hires incompetent managers, who then hire incompetent workers.

clue stick
n. A metaphorical stick used to "hit" a person in an effort to remedy that person's ignorance or incompetence. In the same vein:

"The Top 10 things to say to the terminally clueless:

10. Step into the rain and let a few clue drops hit you.
9. Go to a restaurant and order something off the clue menu.
8. Open up a book and read a clue chapter.
7. Step on the elevator and get off at the clue floor.
6. Pick up the clue phone.
5. Buy a ticket on the clue train.
4. Hit the road and go to the clue outlet mall.
3. Take a dip in the clue end of the pool.
2. Make like a detective and find a clue.
1. Take a hike in the clue forest."
—"Send a movie executive to clue camp," The Orlando Sentinel, October 21, 1994

ignoranus
n. A person who is both stupid and extremely rude or obnoxious.

floordrobe
n. A pile of discarded clothes on the floor of a person's room. [Blend of floor and wardrobe.]

earworm
n. A song or tune that repeats over and over inside a person's head. Also: ear-worm, ear worm.

videophilia
n. A sedentary lifestyle focused on screen-based activities, particularly television, the Internet, and video games.

Frankenfood
n. Food derived from genetically modified (GM) plants and animals.

completist
noun. A person who obsessively gathers the complete collection of a particular set of items (such as a musician's recordings or an author's books).

Frankenstein veto
n. A veto in which the words in a bill are deleted or rearranged to form a new bill with an entirely different meaning.

buzzword bingo
n. A word game played during corporate meetings. Players are issued bingo-like cards with lists of buzzwords such as paradigm and proactive. Players check off these words as they come up in the meeting, and the first to fill in a "line" of words is the winner.

toilet-side
adj. Relating to something positioned beside or within reach of a toilet.

trustafarian
n. A jobless person who has access to money — especially a trust fund income — and who affects a laid back, bohemian lifestyle.
—adj. Relating to such a lifestyle.

splog
n. 1. A fake blog containing links to sites affiliated with the blogger with the intent of boosting the search engine rankings and ad impressions for those sites. 2. Spam links added to the comments section of a blog. [Blend of spam and blog.]
—splogger n

stink lines
n. In an illustration or cartoon, the wavy lines that appear over an object to indicate that it smells bad; the metaphorical stench emanating from something that is extremely bad. Also: stinklines.

barfmail
noun. An e-mail message spewed out in all directions.

barking head
noun. A pundit or commentator who speaks in a loud voice and whose comments tend to be abrasive, aggressive, and partisan

butt bus
n. A bus parked near a pub or restaurant that is used as the establishment's smoking section.

SINK SCUM
acronym. Single, Independent, No Kids: the Self-Centered Urban Male. Used to describe the growing number of heterosexual men who have little or no interest in marriage and children.

--I guess that would be me

inloviduals
noun. Lovers who maintain their independence and individuality. The writers Michael Holroyd and Margaret Drabble, who for the first 15 years of their marriage lived in separate houses, provide the archetype.

--this one fits me pretty well, too.

A Few Language Rants

02:47, 2008-Feb-3 .. Posted in language .. 7 comments .. Link

I haven't done a language rant for awhile, so here are a few language related peeves:

Thinking back the other day, I remembered that one of my first language peeves was people who say "hahhhh?" or "huh?" instead of "what?" or "excuse me?"

It irritated me because I thought how lazy could someone be if they couldn't open their mouths completely to say a real word, instead of a noise that sounded like a pregnant cow with indigestion or like half a laugh.

I remember being a teenager and wanting to slap my idiot sister in law because she did this all the time.

_____________________________

In relation to the post I made the other day about people who use blogging mainly as a way of making money, I've often come across the neologism "monetize".

This one annoyed me immediately as it sounds like it's going to be the next trendy business-speak buzz word in the tradition of such gems as "interface", "solutions", and their ilk.
____________________________

I'm sure every one of you has been asked countless times in your life, "Where do you live?"

What a person actually means by this is "Where do you sleep?", "Where do you keep your belongings", and/or "Where do you get your snail mail?"

They cannot mean it literally because wherever a person happens to be at any given moment is where they live. It's not as if you're dead the moment you step out of that place where you sleep, keep your belongings, and get mail.

When I'm at work, I live in my car. When I want to buy a book,I'm living at the bookstore. And so on.

Banned Words for 2008

11:54, 2008-Jan-1 .. Posted in language .. 13 comments .. Link

Michigan's Lake Superior State University has released its annual "List of Words and Phrases Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness." Following is the 2008 list:

• perfect storm

A cliche plundered from the title of a book, this expression is overused on TV to mean just about any coincidence.

• Webinar

I've not heard this one, but it apparently is a seminar that takes place online.

• waterboarding

I don't know about you, but when I hear this, I think of surfing and water sports, not torture.

• organic

When misused to describe not only food, but computer products or human behavior, and when used to describe something as "natural".

• wordsmith/wordsmithing

A pretentious cliche for "writing"

• author/authored

When used as a verb. We don't say that an artist "paintered" a painting, so we shouldn't say that an author, "authored a new best seller".

• post 9/11

I'm long been against reducing this tragedy to a sound bite. We don't refer to the attack on Pearl Harbor as "12/7", so I don't see why we refer to the terrorist attacks as 9/11.

• surge

When used to refer to a military build-up. Storms surge, not armies

• give back

When used to refer to the more fortunate members of society performing acts of charity. It makes me want to ask, "What did they steal and who are they giving it back to?"

• `blank' is the new `blank'

As in "50 is the new 30". I wish!

• Black Friday

To refer to the day after Thanksgiving as the first shopping day for Christmas.

• back in the day

I have to admit I'm guilty of this one.

• random

Mainly teenage use, as in, "You are so random!" It's used out of context much in the same way teens say "awesome", which was on last year's list.

• sweet

One that I love to hate. Used mainly by teens to mean, "Great!" or "Wonderful" or the ever-ubiquitous, "Awesome".

• decimate

A common exaggeration. "Decimate" means to "reduce by one-tenth", but most who use it mean "nearly completely wiped out".

• emotional

Used in a vague fashion commonly by news reporters, "It was an emotional day when they lost their home in a fire". Instead of referencing actual emotions, such as "distraught", "stunned", and so on, they simply say "emotional" to refer to all emotions.

• pop

I've not heard this one, but it refers mainly to decorators who say such drivel as "the addition of the red really makes it POP." Bleargh.

• It is what it is

A meaningless phrase used to avoid actually answering a question. Heard mainly in sports.

• under the bus

I'm guilty of this one too, as it makes me laugh. But I agree that it's getting worn out.

I made several suggestions of my own for last year's list which you can read on my New Year's Day entry of last year. I've only got one new suggestion for 2008:

• Pony up

Meaning to contribute money, usually after some prodding. As in, "He ponied up 20 bucks to pay his share of the bar tab." This one should be stampeded to death by a herd of wild horses.

Feel free to add words or phrases you love to hate.

I Say....And You Think?

02:50, 2007-Nov-25 .. Posted in language .. 8 comments .. Link

I'm not really in a writing mood today -- it's overcast and all I want to do is go back to bed and sack out for awhile. So I leave you with a few word association memes:

I Say....and You Think?

1. Filthy :: Squalor
2. Therapist :: Shrink
3. Duck :: Head
4. Slant :: Bias
5. Artist :: Painter
6. Lease :: Apartment
7. Wish :: List
8. Doormat :: Unassertive
9. Global :: Warming
10. Apartment :: Noisy neighbors

1. Cluster :: Bomb
2. Announcement :: Bad news
3. Respect :: Is earned
4. Incident :: Happening
5. Accordion :: Cheesy
6. Drunk :: Idiot
7. If :: Maybe
8. Dexter :: Right-handed
9. Wedding :: Sentence
10. Gambling :: Waste

1. Illicit :: Relationship
2. Go :: Home
3. Jacket :: Yellow
4. Blow :: Job
5. Coach :: Football
6. Effort :: Attempt
7. Leadership :: Role
8. Snore :: Zzzzzzzzzzzz
9. Fearless :: Gutless
10. Network :: TV

1. Inaugural :: Speech
2. Pledge :: Of Allegiance
3. String :: Along
4. Trot :: GI trots
5. Fitness :: Suitability
6. Cinder :: Block
7. Edge :: Of night
8. 31 :: Flavors
9. Blue :: Cell phone
10. Leather :: Jacket

1. Las Vegas :: Cheesy
2. Linus :: Peanuts
3. Struck :: Lightning
4. Movie :: Popcorn
5. Anxious :: Worried
6. Bandit :: Robber
7. Picks :: Lottery
8. Lasso :: Rope
9. Dinner :: Food
10. Bargain :: Basement

Let's see your reaction to the words.

Banned Words for 2007

07:03, 2007-Jan-1 .. Posted in language .. 0 comments .. Link

Yesterday, Michigan's Lake Superior State University released its 30th annual "List of Words and Phrases Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness." As a language lover and a hater of inane words and expressions, I read the list with great interest. Following is their current list, with my suggestions for their 2008 list:

GITMO -- slang for Guantanamo Bay Naval Base. This one doesn't bother me if used sparingly.

COMBINED CELEBRITY NAMES -- as in "Brangelina", "TomKat", and "Bennifer". Yep, this one's puke-worthy.

AWESOME -- When used as to refer to things of a mundane or banal nature, to refer to anything that is not worthy of "fear mingled with admiration or reverence; a feeling produced by something majestic". The overuse of this word betrays a lack of vocabulary.

GONE/WENT MISSING -- Is this anything like going on vacation?

PWN/PWNED -- An overly used internet typo for "own/owned" from the gamer world. Not being a gamer, this is the first time I've heard this one.

NOW PLAYING IN THEATERS -- As opposed to those movies now playing in gas stations?

WE'RE PREGNANT -- This is one of my favorite love-to-hate expressions. A couple may both be expecting, but only SHE is pregnant. Puke.

UNDOCUMENTED ALIEN -- PC term for illegal alien. To use this expression is like calling a drug dealer and "undocumented pharmacist".

ARMED ROBBERY/DRUG DEAL GONE BAD -- another inane euphemism

TRUTHINESS -- this is a new one on me, and I hope I never hear it again.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR -- From prescription medication ads. How stupid do they think people are? Do they think if they have a question about a medication that they'd ask their auto mechanic instead?

i-ANYTHING -- Something else I don't see often

SEARCH -- As opposed to "google". I think this needs to be reversed.

HEALTHY FOOD -- If the chicken you had for lunch was still healthy, it would be out clucking in the hen house, not lying on your plate. The word needed in this instance is "healthful".

BOASTS -- As used in real estate ads; “master bedroom boasts his-and-her fireplaces — never ‘bathroom apologizes for cracked linoleum,’ or ‘kitchen laments pathetic placement of electrical outlets.’'

Here's my list of suggestions:

PROLLY — purposeful internet misspelling of probably. We don’t even SAY it that way.

TEH — purposeful internet misspelling of the. Seeing it once is funny, seeing it consistently is annoying.

IMPACT — when used to mean “affect” or “influence”.

SOLUTIONS — used in recent years as part of business names. “Sleep Solutions” for a mattress company, “Car Solutions” for a used car lot, “Senior Solutions” for an adult day car center.

HOT — when used to mean sexy. Sexy is sexy and hot needs an air-conditioner.

FREE GIFT — if it’s a gift, then of course it’s free. Who ever heard of a gift you had to pay for?

FLAVORFUL — as used in grocery store ads. Just because something is full of flavor, it doesn’t necessarily follow that it is a GOOD flavor.

GARDEN APARTMENT — Used to describe a type of apartment. Trouble is, whenever I’ve seen one of those, there is never a garden anywhere on the premises.

ARTIST — when used to refer to a musician, singer, or band. These are three precise words to describe a musical performer, where “artist” is more vague. Let’s reserve artist for the visual arts.

Any concocted word ending in -LICIOUS — Delicious is fine, anything else is cringe-worthy.

BEHIND BARS -- Jails and prisons with actual bars have gone the way of the black and white striped prison suit.

Feel free to add any words or phrases you think belong on this list.
___________________
To see their lists from previous years:

http://www.lssu.edu/banished/archive...e/2002.php

Garbled Transmissions

01:12, 2005-Dec-22 .. Posted in language .. 0 comments .. Link

Ever play the game “Whisper Down the Line” when you were a kid? That’s when one person whispers something to another, who in turn whispers it to the next person, continuing down the line until everyone has heard it. The purpose of this game is to see if the message survived intact, word for word, after having been repeated several times. Usually, it doesn’t.

Sometimes it doesn’t take this much for what someone has said or sung to be misunderstood by a listener.

Children, especially, tend to have “creative ears”, many times with amusing results. I can remember hearing reports on the news about euthanasia. Considering that I was a little kid during the sixties, what my ears heard was “Youth in Asia”, and I thought they were talking about kids in Vietnam. You have to admit that it made sense. I also heard electoral vote as “electrical vote”, which I thought meant voting by machine. Again, perfectly logical.

My creative hearing extended to music as well. All during school, we frequently sang “God Bless America” in music class. For the longest time, I thought the actual lyrics were, “And guide her, through the night, with a light from a BULB”. It made perfect sense to me.

Of course, adults mishear things as well, for a variety of reasons. Some of the most common reasons are being hard of hearing, but fairly often it’s because of regional dialects. Back in the sixties, Volkswagen put out a car called “Karmann Ghia”. Growing up with an r-dropping New England accent, my mind pictured this as “Common Gear”. Years later, when I first moved to my current home, I’d hear radio commercials promoting “Mills on Wills”. It took me a moment to realize that they meant “Meals on Wheels”.

Sometimes the confusion comes with not the words themselves, but the emphasis. Take the song “Home on the Range”. The line, “Seldom is heard a discouraging word”, can be taken two ways. It could either mean that “seldom” is a discouraging word heard often, or it could mean seldom does one hear discouraging words.

And this brings me to one of the biggest sources of garbed transmissions -- music. All sorts of music is heard in ways that the singers never intended, usually with hilarious results. Here are a few of my favorites:

Louis Armstrong -- What a Wonderful World

The actual words: “The bright blessed days, the dark sacred nights”
What I heard: “The bright blessed days, the dogs say goodnight”

CCR -- Bad Moon on the Rise

The actual words: “There’s a bad moon on the rise”
What I heard: “There’s a bathroom on the right”

Elton John -- Island Girl

The actual words: “Island Girl, what you wanted with the white man’s world”
What I heard: “Island girl, what you wanted with your wife’s Aunt Pearl”

Manfred Mann -- Blinded By the Light”

The actual words: "Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night”
What I heard: "Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, had a boner in the night”.

Well, at least for that last one, I think my words made about as much sense as the original ones.

Here’s a funny collection of misheard lyrics I found that you might enjoy:

http://www.kissthisguy.com/

A Bit of Language Trivia

02:44, 2005-Dec-20 .. Posted in language .. 0 comments .. Link

A pocketbook is not a book, a pocket, or a book you put in your pocket. Wonder how such a strange word came to mean “purse” or “handbag”?

______________________________________________

“Belated”, a word invented just for birthdays

______________________________________________

“Tardy”, a word invented just for schools

______________________________________________

Children and brethren: probably the only two words in English that take the plural -ren.

______________________________________________

Don’t is “do not”. Why isn’t won’t “woo not”?

______________________________________________

If a duckling is a baby duck, then why isn’t a dumpling a baby dump?

______________________________________________

German has different words for “no” meaning the opposite of yes, and “no” meaning “not any”: “nein” and “kein”. Makes better sense than English. After all, we say, “I have no bananas”, but we can’t say, “I have yes bananas”.

______________________________________________

Why do people refer to musicians as “artists” when there are several perfectly usable and more specific words, such as singer, musician, and band? Using the term "artists" for musicians has always seemed more than a little pretentious to me.

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We talk about “eyesight”. Why don’t we talk about “earhear”, "tonguetaste", "nosesmell", or "fingertouch"?

The Language of Relationships

12:01, 2005-Dec-1 .. Posted in language .. 0 comments .. Link

(Originally posted on 1 October 2004 at Blog City)

Quite often, the English language has not kept pace with current realities in our ever-evolving society. Take the language of relationships, for example.

When referring to the person with whom one is having an unmarried intimate relationship, the terms most overwhelmingly used are “boyfriend” or ”girlfriend”. These words are universally used, regardless of the age of those involved, circumstances, or type of relationship.

Am I the only one who finds the idea of a grown woman referring to a man in his 40s as her “boyfriend” to be totally ludicrous? Does anyone agree that a man who is not married to the mother of his children but refers to her simply as his “girlfriend” to be making more than a little bit of an understatement?

To me, the words “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” bring up visions of fifteen year olds “going steady”, exchanging class rings, and going to the prom. These terms are both absurd and inadequate to refer to adult relationships.

“Boyfriend” and “girlfriend” hearken back to a time when most people got married in their late teens and stayed married until death do us part. There weren’t enough unmarried adults in the many different types of relationships we see today to need having terms that described mature, unmarried, non-platonic relationships.

Despite the fact that new words are routinely coined to reflect changing realities, the English language has not evolved much in the realm of relationships. From time to time, there have been attempts to address this lack of appropriate relationship terms, but such attempts haven’t succeeded to any great degree.

“Partner” enjoys some popularity in the gay community, but has not caught on among heterosexuals largely because many view this word as referring only to gay relationships, and others think it sounds too businesslike. “Significant other” is awkward to use, “paramour” sounds too hoity-toity, “fuckbuddy” is too blunt, and so on.

Personally, I prefer to use the word “lover”, because that’s what they are to me. I also will refer to lovers simply by their names, without explaining the type of relationship. Or I merely call them a “friend” and let the person I’m talking to figure out just what kind of friend they are to me on their own.

Thoughts?